...So you walk into the bathroom at your place of employment and there at one of the two urinals stands a 60+ year old man with his pants dropped to his ankles, baring the big white bum his momma gave him to the whole world. Do you:
A. Turnaround and run
B. Elect to use a stall and stay in until he leaves
C. Use the urinal next to him and try not to choke from holding back the laughter like an 8 year old that passes gas during family prayer.
Unfortunately I chose C. Honestly, you think the guy could have figured out how to use his fly sometime in the last 70 years. I wish I had had the presence of mind to say something like, "it sure is drafty in here." This is also the first time I have wished that I owned a camera phone. Apparently this isn't his first "sighting." If I can get a picture it is going on the blog. He doesn't work in my office so I'll have to lure him out. Maybe I'll leave a free bowl of punch in the lobby and spike it with some kind of prostate enlarging chemical. Old Cheeky will be in there every 10 minutes after that. Anyway, good luck getting rid of this mental picture.
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6 comments:
i don't know you.
Don't know who?
There is a very well-dressed older guy that works in my office building that takes care of his business in a very similar fashion. We have actually considered putting a sign on the door to the mens room to alert others that he is in there bearing all that his momma gave him.
The other thing about this guys is that he must have low water-pressure down-under because there is usually more on the floor in front of the urinal than in the bowl.
The janitors have named him "the dripper". They curse his name in spanish every morning as they clean the restrooms. I have learned some really choice spanish "downhome-euphemisms" from these guys as they discuss "el maldito bastardo dripper"!
That is exactly the way Cole pees! He's 5. The other week he peed right in front of the school amidst parents waiting to pick up their kids. A mom alerted me to the sight of Cole's bum bared to all and I wisked him into the school to finish the job. I'm hoping he'll figure out the fly thing soon! And no peeing in crowds! And like your brothers "friend" Cole's stream has a sharp left lean, which is why there's always a puddle to the left of the toilet! Too much information, but you started it.
Caleb, I got out! I broke free! And it is so good to hear news from the new job! I hope I have at least one good story like that at the new place!
next time you see him just saddle up on the urinal next to him and once your flow is moving start moaning and screaming "damn you ouch, why does it burn!! i hate it OOOOOUUUCCHH" and try to keep a straight face as he wizzes on your ankles
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